You are a man, You are a man, You are a man

Issues of the heart are often tricky.
A part of me shriveled when I heard someone I may like getting emotionally involve with another guy. I may be in denial. But, but, but You promise to write my love story.... Instead I want to ask the right questions here. What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? What is it you want me to see? What are you asking me to let go of?

I do not want to be that man. Seeing You in a small and pitifull manner. A part of me knows that the relationship might never work out. haha. bitter much?

Its comforting to know that some of these people that I count as cg friends who have the combined iq of my shoe size, still believes in me. On flights I get questions on why I am still single. (albeit I think they would want to know if I am barking on the wrong tree). Its hard to explain to these random people about You. They say I am choosy. Growl. I am starting to sound like a girl. Yes, I know you only have the best for me. I want my girl to be snowskin. A girl to be a girl. And one who knows her position with You.

symbolism of a moustache

My new blog space shall be different.
It shall no longer be use as a tool for people to validate me.
Its a journal of sorts living in this century growing up in a father fiction world.
Its an open letter to my Real Father.

Moustache. Coming heads on with the crisis of manhood, of masculinity in my life. I hate to admit, I am 28 years old and I still need a father. I hate talking about father issues as it makes me feel weak. As I re-write the story of my life, my hope is that the gaping hole in my soul in the shape of a father will no longer be there. Having to realise the promise in the bible that He is a father to the fatherless, I shall pull the rotted beams out from my foundation and replacing them with something I can build a life on.

What it means to me to own a moustache. To recover my masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God.

Daddy, I invite you to wrap your lips around mine to speak no longer as an orphan child and rediscover my relationship with You.